It's not yet two days later and I can't tell if I'm suffering A weight has been lifted But a new weight is coming which could become blood in brain In turn becoming blood in body I am clinging to something as a train thunders by The only question I had left has now been answered But I must remember that this can harm nothing else That much has been proven beyond doubt Can anything be said out loud about this? And it would be so loud It would be so loud I can't do it here, but at moments I feel it Has there been any change? There is worth in too much Do apologies enter into it? How did doubts re-arise? Or did they ever leave? Perhaps I was pretending It would be so loud Am I ever awake to life? I struggle to see through my eyelids I need to find a way to be ashamed in front of you To become numb to yearning To feel guilt more than shame Trumpets blare at the back of my mind and all that there is is in muddy half-confusion What will become of us? This is too much to bear and beyond this everything will dissolve Dissolve