If I could be anything I'd be a machine gun 'Cuz everytime I see you I'm sorry I don't own one If I could be anything You know I'd be a land mine The next time you step on me Will really be the last time If I could be anything I'd be an airborne ranger I'd jump into your ship When you treat me like a stranger If I could be anything I'd be a German U-boat Sink you like a stone 'Cuz the new guy Makes your soul float Hold my hand Like a knife in my back My nose is bleeding And my eyes are both black Got lots of friends I don't need anymore I'm Steve McQueen And you're Gestapo torture If I could be anything I'd be a machine gun 'Cuz everytime I see you I'm sorry I don'; t own one BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! I feel better now