The controlling grip that it has on my body leaving it's mark on my skin Making sure that I will never forget the guilt, the shame, the sin It's like a vacuum hurricane, tearing me apart and sucking out my brain No way to fix this, so I wallow in doubt and let the clouds form and rain The shackles to substance fuels our primordial sustenance Forget the memory, destroy the trauma just to let it regain relevance It pricks my skin (The unforgiving guilt) I wish I could've prevented everything, age and weakness stopped me Now my worst fears, and toxins in my veins Is turning me into something I don't want to be Relapse, memory banks close, lose control I now only feel comfortable with the bottle and the smoke Angels ashes, crystal ice, cold snow, blood shot eyes I remember the needle and flower on your arm when I said "Please don't close your eyes" Fuck