Self loathing in my room it's dark and I ain't right
Bought a pen and journals I stay up all night nocturnal and I can't even write
I find myself in empty relationships with people that ion even like
And momma bought punching bags that ion even strike
Catch the opposition I could roll and bowl the pins I spare em I don't even strike
I prepare my eyes for having heavy conversations with father when I don't even cry
My wings is clipped I spread 'em and I don't even fly
Blank stares, doctor acting like she care asking if I'm hurting myself and I ain't even lie
Lately I'm realizing the old me ain't really die
I never touched the wrists but I fucked up
The season came they seen the cuts on my thigh
I'm eighteen but I believe I fucking suck at love I struggle with patience
But luckily that's a problem I don't have a problem with facing
I gotta stop name dropping all these fucking women I'm chasing
Just know that imma cry when she and I finally make it
We aligned her morals and divine mind is fine and adjacent
I take note and notice who fail to call when I find myself aching
She see right through the blank stares and swear she can tell when I'm faking
I rather niggas approach me and try to smoke me then masking the hating
Wish all my Nissan needed was freon got me transferring like half of my savings
My venus got me on demon time but I suppress the stress of primal instincts and cravings
I wear my flaws quite flawless and brazen
Pondered life in the restroom when I was fucking stalling with razors
It's hard to perceive yourself in the matrix
It's hard to believe we started in cages
Now we sip like the bottles is bottomless baby