Well the cat is a coward With a name like Howard Well he lives in the strip Strip mall slum Peruses garbage at the target Fishbones behind walmart Well he's scared of the mice and Donald Trump Wild Hogs in the red states Where they're tearing up the landscape Well the lion once a mall rat He can't compete Well he takes to shadow boxing For fear of all the toxins That end up flooding out the street ♪ A feline beast has no place Amidst soybeans and corn Can't eat raw meat of feedlot beef For fear of all them new bacterial forms ♪ Once there was a jungle Trees from coast to coast Now his stomach rumbles No prairie grass for making toast Well a cat's got a right to be afraid What with all these medications, oh man And the loss of Medicare Well the catman is a coward With a name like Howard King of the beasts Can't hack the grind He can't go back to the circus Cause he feels too nervous Maybe that wizard will Give him peace of mind