My biggest fear is that I live a life that I deserve
The crooked construct preserving time that I observe
An obscuration masquerading fear to call it smarts
Timid entertaining turns to breaking how you lose your heart
When from the start I know that healings feeling conscious
And pain is when you fake or you abstain to fully process
The feelings there that dug it's way into heart and head
And try to tame it with your vices like it's turning to your friend
And how absurd, to think our feelings aren't defiant
And boil down the way we fix ourselves like it's a science
I admit it I'm stranger, and faker to extent
But I observe and put in words enough to know this isn't it
It's strange to think that healings not an option
Combining wasting time and numbing down becoming common place in every little corner, but surprise it's your demise
Focused on the bright side it's blinding to the eyes, goodnight
And when you think about what you've done
Does it make you feel immortal?
And taking crediting for your actions
Is it suppose to feel forced though?
And it'll be okay
Just sleep it off and grind is what my people say
And everywhere that there's emotion
It's just a cycle that we go through
I do not suffer from the thought but all I'm hearing are the voices
Everything you say is based in logic but I feel exploited
If it's the truth that I must tell I'm overwhelmed by all the choices
And with this fire set to stone I can not fight with my emotions
My abusive inner monologue can turn your heart to stone
And inspiration is a mistress but it never feels like home
And how you deal with repercussions is the business of your own
But all I'm doing is affirming truth that you already know
Ya know, it bums me out to know that where I am is a direct result of the choices I make
And it really bums me out that where I'll end up is contingent on the choices I'm making right now
Like what a rip off, because no matter where I end up I'm not going to be content, and we're not going to be happy
And if we're never content and happy then how do we win?
And when you think about what you've done
Does it make you feel immortal?
And take crediting for your actions
Is it suppose to feel forced though?
And it'll be okay
Just sleep it off and grind is what my people say
And everywhere that there's emotion
It's just a cycle that we go through