When I was 17
I didnt make the team
I couldnt achieve my dream of playing in the NBA
I couldnt make the pass
Of course I got picked last
Every body kicked my ass each and every day
He smokes two packs a day
That dont affect his play
Hed never roll a j
Like most guys today
Hed never beat up fans
He hardly understands
English but hes my man
And Im his smallest fan
On and off the court hes got everything
If you ask me hes my hero
If you ask me hes my king
My whole lifes is a nightmare but his lifes a dream
Theres only one guy I want to be
I want to be Vlade I want his body
I wanna be 7 feet tall, palm a basketball and never shave
If I could be Vlade I could be naughty
I could drive fancy cars, hit all the bars, and get all the babes
Get all the babes
Now the Lakers have him back
Only he could replace Shaq
On the roster now theyre stacked
Like Erica Elaniak
In bed hes a gentle giant
Maybe other pros should try it
Hed never rape like Kobe Bryant
Or pay them off just to keep quiet
On and off the court hes got everything
If you ask me hes my hero
If you ask me hes my king
My whole lifes a nightmare but his lifes a dream
Theres only one guy I want to be
I want to be Vlade I want his body
I wanna be 7 feet tall, palm a basketball and never shave
If I could be Vlade I could be naughty
I would drive fancy cars, hit all the bars, and get all the babes
Get all the babes
I dont want to be Peja Stojakovic
I dont want to be Darco Milicic
I sure dont want to be Slobodan Milosovic
Theres only one Serb I want to be
I want to be Vlade I want his body
I wanna be 7 feet tall, palm a basketball and never shave
If I could be Vlade I could be naughty
I would drive fancy cars, hit all the bars, and get all the babes
Get all the babes