Betty is convinced that she's a buffalo No one can talk her out of this Right now she is stampeding in the kitchen She's bellowing and stamping her fist She's thoroughly convinced that she's a buffalo That's the way she's acting today I kinda wish that Betty the buffalo Was where the deer and antelope play Now David is convinced that he's a donkey Just listen to him bray He says he's only eating alfalfa sprouts He's stubborn about everything today He's thoroughly convinced that he's a donkey A donkey, that's the way it's going to be I kinda wish that David the donkey Wasn't such a donkey with me Now me I'm convinced that I'm a seagull Even though I haven't wings to fly 'Cause all I want to eat today is garbage Chocolate bars and deep dish apple pie I'm thoroughly convinced that I'm a seagull That's the way I'm acting today And if I see the Gulf Island ferry I'm convinced that I will follow it away