"What are you going to do with all that baby wanting?" you said
"Maybe you can get it out when you go and see the newborn twins"
And now I'm sitting on the plane stewing in my baby wanting
Thinking how it first came over me in 2011
Maren was born, much to the shock of my mother
And I walked in by her crib where she slept breathing, silent, fast
And now I feel this kinship with everyone who has a baby
Total strangers, who probably call on God and the only thing they ask
Is to be free of girls like me and our baby wanting
What am I going to do with all this baby wanting?
Do I think I could go through childbirth? I can't survive my monthly cramps
And yes, I do cry consistently whenever I'm watching Call the Midwife
And maybe I desperately want children, or maybe I'm very sentimental
And I don't mean to say that I think having children is easy, or not exhausting
And that has been my experience, especially with other people's kids
And also with Maren, who, granted, means more to me than most people and most things
Because Maren taught me about shock and wonder and how overwhelming love can be
And how I can love a person more than anything in the world
And that's the feeling there that feeds my baby wanting