B.J. Don't Cry (All) Never had a girl to call his own... (Mike speaking) From the Fruvous Quill comes a sorry tale of love and illin' Romeo found the balcony too high, ended up with second billin' She loved in triplicate, left his heart a blank to fill in Lost his faith immaculate when cupid became a villian (Dave & Jian) B.J. Don't cry no more Wonders what his heart is beating for Says he takes it much too hard Give my regards to B.J. (Mike speaking) In a fit of rage he tore down all her gifts and promises Sick and tired of hearing 'bout those Harry, Dick, and Thomasses Banished her for life he did, right then and there, from the premises Once Holy Virgin Queen, now on the scene, his nemesis (All) B.J. Don't cry no more Wondered what his heart was beating for Says he takes it much too hard Give my regards to B.J. (Mike) He thought about his life, his heart began to rush He buried the crown, found a bucket and a brush BJ paints town... (Mike speaking) Foot, foot... (Others) La la la la la la... La la la la la. (Mike speaking) Now on the street our wounded soul is looking quite gregarial Heart of tin has shed his skin, given it a hefty burial As with logic, as with reason, as with science actuarial Rallied 'round the Fruvous Flag, burnt the kitchen, raised the aerial (Mike) B.J. Don't cry no more Found out what his heart was beating for Says he takes it much too hard Give my regards to B.J. (Others) Never had a girl to call his own Never strayed too far from hearth and home He's our Messiah (All) Turn it over, little man (Mike, w/ others singing "B J") He took a trip, BJ's on a train Far far away, but he'll be back again one rainy day (All) B.J. Don't cry no more B.J. Don't cry no more (Mike speaking) So there we have a story lived in person told by proxy 'Bout a mild-mannered mannequin, every Friday hit the Roxy Till there his own reflection, showed him his orthodoxy Now he hikes the Himmalayas, stuffs his letters full of moxy! (Mike) B.J. Don't cry no more Found out what his heart was beating for Says he takes it much too hard Give my regards to B.J. (Others) Never had a girl to call his own Never strayed too far from hearth and home He's our Messiah He says he takes it much too hard Give my regards to B.J. (Others) He's our Messiah (Mike) And now he's swinging in the yard, He's the junior bard, With the Juliard (All) B.J.