You think being a loveable nincompoop's meant anyone's missed you?
Getting rid of you was the best thing anyone ever did for the planet.
Prexit means prexit.
Remember when England won the world cup every single year?
Of course you don't 'cause you sir weren't flippin' here.
And without you society's swept steam power to the side
And then colonized Jupiter in 2005
And daffodils grew three inches taller in your absence
And Amazon Prime gave all their videos closed captions
And there was no president 'cause The Apprentice hadn't happened
And volcanoes gave out free yogurt instead of magma
And every hotel started providing ten extra towels
Elon Musk gave his kid a name with letters and vowels
And far sexier people are wearing all your clothes
And Jeffrey's fine swinging through the air in Borneo
And now the world effervesces as it turns
I deleted the East India Trading Company (it got what it deserved)
And you can spill tea guilt free and get it on your shirt
Demand's fifty percent lower now you've exited dirt
You see it's better and it works
Sure my methods are perverse
But I checked and everyone attests Elemental was a curse
You see it's better and it works
When I set it in reverse
Everything was going pleasant before this fellow had emerged
You ruined a perfect world just by being born
You ruined a perfect world just by being born
You ruined a perfect world just by being born
And all decisions since then have just made everything around you bad
We domesticated the duck-billed platypus
People took them for walks and they kept them in the flat and stuff
Oh that's before you donned your time travel troons and swaggered up
Do you not see what your arrogance has nabbed from us?
Think of Jeffrey's freedom before his subservience
Think about when your own future grandson tried to murder you
Think of how fun and cooperative European international relations were
Before your one-man invasion of Serbia
You were not his embarred king of Brunel
I asked everyone in the world and they think that you smell
Since you've been gone everything has been just swell
You've been gone twenty thousand years and nobody can even tell
Poverty? Collapsed in days
Inequality? Smashed it, mate
You took your merch with you, thus eradicating plastic waste
We've been having a right old knees up in your absent days
So bugger off back to space (also dogs have wings now)
You see it's better and it works
Sure my methods are perverse
But I checked and everyone attests Elemental was a curse
You see it's better and it works
When I set it in reverse
Everything was going pleasant before this fellow had emerged
Oh, it brings a tear to me eye just thinking about it
Ah, it was just so splendid without you