I saw the advert on my TV screen Slimline girls and a tea machine Housewife proud of her shiny floor As if that's what she was living for The cat who had his teeth pulled out That's what the public love no doubt A cuddly gimmick to make you smile That cat won't grin for a very long while I saw the advert on my TV screen Slimline drinks and tetley tea Exploit the accent of the flat-cap men Like hell the North will rise again The comradeship of drinking ale The workers' revolution failed Too pissed on shit to notice it Nevermind where it if it fits I saw the advert on my TV screen Slimline cars a real mean machine It's cheaper than this it's cheaper than that It's still ten thousand pounds you twat Do I get a free tart with every one? Can I drive it off into the sun? Has it got a big ashtray? I'm hooked on forty fags a day You mustn't smoke, you mustn't drink You mustn't even try to think Just stay dead the advert said Eight out of ten people had no brains Eight out of ten said they enjoyed it The whole damn country died of boredom