I've got twelve nominations and half dozen Oscars
Nine cars and three ex-wives to show
That in this business of refuse and nephews I know
My stuff
You're a literary great
Who should have won a Pulitzer prize
I would never cannibalize
Or impair a single hair or phrase
Of your magazine opus
Still a lot of scribblers
Soon discover what they write for the screen
Isn't always right for the screen
So I intervene
I zipped through your book
And the characters jumped through life on the screen
Don't cling to the words to which you gave birth
Remember how many a picture is worth
The odds are a thousand to one so get used to it Stine
The book may be yours baby trust me the movie is mine
Ya learn from Von Sternberg
Ta grow from Von Stroheim
And so I'm the heir to their skill
This town has more nuts than Brazil
Let's face it I've been through DeMille
Authors unprepared to take
A stab at this collaborative art
Must suppress their egos and part
With the notion that in motion pictures
Words are carved in marble
Donna darling get this on a pad
And type it up for next week
I have an engagement to speak
At the Writer's Guild
You wouldn't want to upset Buddy
This is advice not a threat, buddy
But see how tough things can get, buddy
When things get rough it can get bloody
Baby nobody says no, buddy
So, buddy, you better concede
Let Buddy, be buddy
Pure Buddy
And he'll be your buddy
The buddy you need