Good evening sir and madam, I would like to introduce myself I'll be your waiter and your friend for the evening My only purpose is to serve and if I might observe Madam is looking quite spectacular this evening And if I might suggest the trout is very, very fresh And the chef has taken pains with the sauces And the pastries are divine and we have a special wine Brought directly back from Paris by our bosses Am I alone in this? Am I alone?... I am your waiter and I am ordinary and I am the wildest in the world... I am your waiter and I am ordinary and I hope you enjoy your evening The specials tonight are the fresh fish and a radish Directly from the farm and the harbor Though I must recommend the oysters Hollandaise I'm told it increases your ardor The coffee tonight is the Brazilian espresso The liqueur the Tia Maria I'm in a spin, I'm swept, I'm asexual sundered Split apart in sweeping fields of color Am I alone in this? Am I alone?... I am your waiter and I am ordinary and I am the wildest in the world... I am your waiter and I am ordinary and I hope you enjoy your evening Whole waiting Waiting and whole... The walls of the walls they flicker and fade Soft and hard in a swift parade In shining rooms sublimely made I am a waiter A shadow flickers a face sweeps by Transparent in the shining window I am recognized by a stranger I am someone that they knew They know someone that I was I must be that someone But I'm not the evidence denied That someone is not I I am a waiter The boxer trains, the baby cries, the waiter waits All boxers train, all babies cry, all waiters wait In towers and gutters and soft sweet rooms Eating takeout or escargot Or drinking coffee from a paper cup Or Chateau Rothschild from a crystal goblet Am I alone in this? Am I alone?... I am your waiter and I am ordinary and I am the wildest in the world...