You can't catch fish! You can't catch fish! You can't catch fish! You can't catch fish! I-I-I-I got a little story, about a city boy That came to Wisconsin, up from Illinois So he could enter, the big fish contest It's a thousand bucks cash for the biggest and the best! But I told him - guy, you're making a mistake You don't stand a chance catching fish on dis lake Cause Hey! You can pray, want, or wish But let me tell you something guy - You can't fish! I told you there guy! Can't catch fish! What do you think you're doing? Can't catch fish! For Cripes sake! You can't catch fish! Go back to Illinois, hey! Can't catch fish! Brand new motor, and boat With a bunch of fancy gear, cripes sake, you know it! And Lures! Every style, type and size If you think that'll help, you're in for a surprise Cause money - can't buy skill Ya know the guys and me, we can catch 'em at will! Fish are just something that - You can't catch! For crying out loud, guy! You can't catch fish! What the heck you doing? You can't catch fish! Jeez, guy! Come on! You can't catch fish! Gimme a rod, and reel And take a step back so I can show you the deal How it's done! Now check this out I'm catching crappie, sauger, perch and lake trout Or walleye. And pike Take a few notes while I show you what it's like To throw, a cast And ten seconds later I was reeling in a bass! And you could never, catch a bass like this Cause let me tell you something guy - You can't fish! I'm telling you hey! Ya can't catch fish! You can't catch fish! I got a bite! Stop! Miller time! You don't know what you're doing Your brains must be manure You don't use a bobber When you're casting with a lure But when you thought you got one You had to go and brag You fought it for an hour Even though it was a snag Then you finally hooked a musky And I said it's about time But you didn't know how to set your drag And the fish took all your line! Can't catch fish! Yeah, guy! You can't catch fish! Go hire a guide, hey! You can't catch fish! For cripes sakes! You can't catch fish! Hey! I told you so! Another bite! Stop! Miller time! You thought that you could beat us But I knew you'd never win Cause you're from Illinois And we're from Wisconsin I know you want to argue But guy, you know I'm right Cause we filled up all our stringers And you haven't got a bite Well you came and lost the contest Cripes sake! I told you so! You better pack your gear, get the heck out of here And back to Chicago! Can't catch fish! Can't catch fish! You can't catch fish! That's right there, guy! You can't catch fish! I told you there hey! Can't catch fish! Just stay in Illinois! Can't catch fish! Stop! Miller time!