Yo Charlie! Gimme a taste! Gimme a taste o' that north woods bass! Well Crimeny Cripes. Holy Frights Crimeny-cripe, cripe-crimeny I'm about to introduce myself right now Well what you're about to hear right now is about a group o' guys And you might have seen us on a lake, in de woods, Or at de Friday night fish fries We come from all around de state as the masters of our trade And huntin' and fishin' competition is how us guys get paid And we challenge anyone to an outdoor sports contest Cause if there's a gun or a rod involved Without a doubt we're de best! Well, now ya gonna hear how we hunt deer Drink beer and catch trophy pike! So now it's time to move down de line, and I'm a cast Charlie de mic! Now what de hey! Fish filet! Ugly stick, Ice pick, Ice auger! No matter what the time o year I'm catchin' perch, walleye & sauger! Or when it comes to bass - I kick ass I catch 'em right and left, left and right And you better feel sorry for any fish that would dare put up a fight! Even rough fish- you want 'em I got 'em I'll find 'em wherever they are I'm talkin' sheephead, bullhead, rock bass, carp Even alligator gar! Ya might have seen me at de walleye fest As de contest first place winner Throw a cast with a Mr. Twister curly worm On a rig with a Little Joe Spinner There's no doubt around I wear the walleye crown And when I take my catch down De taxidermist knows it's because of me That he's the richest guy in town! I soak my bait in beer, cast it off de pier And reel 'em in like a snap But enough about me, comin' up, can't ya see It's the eligible Earl Crap! Well an E-A-R-L, to the C-R-A and P I gotta license to hunt on me When I hunt small game I like to take aim At them feisty little squirrels But when it comes to huntin' trophy game I'm at de tavern trappin' girls! I've been told I'm de most wanted bachelor All around dese parts And all dem women in de taverns you know I'm busy breakin' der hearts On a date wit a girl with a 6-pack o' beer We're down by de lake a strolling But when I really want to impress my date We'll get dressed up to go bowling! I like de girls that won't complain No matter what I do And that includes me barfin' up Blatz Or spittin' out a wad o' chew! For all you girls that like my style It's you I'd like to meet So get up here, put yer hands in de air And dance to de beat! Schlovatchschlovitz, fish sandwich Got the big beer belly need to feed it The only thing better than shootin' game Is cookin' it up to eat it I like kraut wit my trout, curds wit my birds But I'll eat anything you got And my favorite phrase that'll make my day is a Charlie's got a Johnsonville brat! I shoot woodcock, grouse, rabbit, squirrel I shoot deer and I shoot turkey And all da game dat I bring home gets processed into jerky! Tater tots, Haagen Dazs Late night snacks make me happy But what I really like at 2 am Is a beer and some pan-fried crappie Holy smokes, no more cokes Barley, yeast, malt and hops Cause beer goes great wit everything And tonight it's venison chops! Oh choppy-chop, loin chop Rump-chop, backstrap wienie Deer parts makin' me hungry now So I'm a pass da mic to Sweeney! Well I'm de B-Y-R-O-N, ya know And it's my turn to go, crimeny-cry Cause de S-W-E-E-N-E-Y would like to say Hey, Guy! All right everybody, I'm Byron Sweeney A name you might well know You might a seen it in a record book Or de credits of a huntin' show! Now ever since I was a baby boy 12-Guage was my nick-name And when de other kids were eatin' baby food I was gnawin' on a piece o' game! I grew up shootin' every wild animal dat came within my sight And I figured out how ta clean a deer Before I could even read or write! From pluggin' ducks to snipin' bucks I got records across the state I can kill wit a gun, bow, knife or bare hands And that's why I'm so great! So if you ever get de chance to hunt wit me Ya better take it - you'll wish you had But there's a guy who can fish as good as I hunt Well Holy Crap Snap swivel, Flip it an' reel An' listen up guy cause I'm a tell ya the deal Now I am known around de state As the one and only pike master And I can win any tournament I cast farther and reel faster I don't need all dat fancy gear Cripes-sakes der guy you know it I gotta 20 horse Evinrude outboard motor on a 15 foot John boat! I never got a snag, I have to brag Cause I just can't be so subtle Cause I can catch a pike in any lake any river Heck I'll even catch one in a puddle! Now whatever I get, it's catch and release But let's keep one thing clear It's not that I care about the fish that much Its cause my live well's filled wit beer! Schlovachlovitz and Earl Crap When it comes to any outdoor sport