I know you're probably mad that I was never there for you
I'd be damned if you think I didn't care for you
I was dealing with some things
Fighting off demons, trynna find peace
Always had an attitude, no one messed with me
Lived a lonely life, there's too much to see
12 Years old, was practically on my own
Smoking cigarettes, staying pretty lit
Hanging with the wrong crowd, always getting tossed out
Stores and peoples houses, wearing the same outfit
Only child no dad, eventually no mom
Dropped out of school, certainly no job
Resulted to the drugs, all I wanted was a hug
Had no loyalty, growing up on the streets
But I did have it from all 4 of my children
Even after I done made all them bad decisions
Little Ikwan, we was close as ever
Next time I see you hopefully is in heaven
I'm just standing in the falling rain
Hoping it can take the pain away
No going back to yesterday
I just want you next to me
I just don't
I just don't know what to do
Cause every time I think of you
Becomes a battle I always lose
Brenda Saxon
When I say your name, it sounds so relaxing
If I could go back in time, turn all the clocks backwards
I would say I love you, but I know what comes after
It's so crazy time is a funny thing
One day your here just smiling
Next day your gone, you don't say bye to me
I don't know how I do it, I can't even sleep
I can't even think, your gone when I blink
I got tears in my eyes, I can't even see
I'm just reminiscing, looking at all our pictures
Just staring out the window, wishing things could be different
I'm praying to God, hoping he can have some answers
Maybe be understanding, and give you another chance and
Put you back on this earth, see your kids that you birth
Every day I'm in hurt, cause I know it's won't work
It's not how life is, time with you was priceless
Damn I feel so lifeless, cause as soon as I get
My freedom, you was gone, felt like I was cheated
Inside I was screaming, your all I ever needed
Think of you think of death, wish you never left
Can only imagine, on your last breath
What you were thinking, as your slowly drifting
Wasn't gonna talk about it, cause
I'm just standing in the falling rain
Hoping it can take the pain away
No going back to yesterday
I just want you next to me
I just don't
I just don't know what to do
Cause every time I think of you
Becomes a battle I always lose
I'm just standing in the falling rain
Hoping it can take the pain away
No going back to yesterday
I just want you next to me