Dear sir i write this note to you to tell you of my plate,
For at the time of writing it, i'm not a pretty site.
Me body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey,
And i write this note to say, why i am not at work today.
Whilst working on the 14 floors some bricks i had to clear,
But to toss them down from such a height was not a good idea.
The foreman wasn't very pleased; he is an awkward sod,
And he said i had to cart them down the ladders in me hodder.
Now moving all these bricks by hand it was so very slow,
So i hoisted up a barrow and secured the rope below,
But in my haste to do the job i was to blind to see,
That a barrow full of building bricks was heavier than me.
And so when i untied the rope; the barrow fell like lead,
But clinging tightly to the rope, i started up instead,
I shot up like a rocket, till to my dismay i found,
That halfway up i met, the bloody barrow coming down.
The barrow broke me shoulder, as to the ground it sped,
And when i reached the top i banged the pulley with me head.
Still clinging tightly to the rope from this almighty blow,
While the barrow spilt out half its bricks on 14 floors below.
Now when these bricks had fallen, from the barrow to the floor,
I then outweighed the barrow and so started down once more,
Still clinging tightly to the rope, me body racked with pain,
And halfway down i met, the bloody barrow once again.
The force of this collision, halfway down the office block,
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty case of shock,
Still clinging tightly to the rope, i fell towards the ground,
And landed on the broken bricks the barrow had scattered round.
I lay there groaning on the ground; i thought i'd past the worst,
When the barrow hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst,
A shower of bricks rained down on me, i didn't have a hope,
As i lay there bleeding on the ground i let go of the bloody rope.
The barrow now being heavier, it started down once more,
And landed right across me as i lay there on the floor,
It broke 3 ribs and my left arm and i can only say...
I hope you'll understand why i am not at work today.