When I was eleven I idolized you
You seemed like you knew everything
In a town where everybody knew nothing
I wanted to grow up exactly like you
You made me a mixtape that felt
Like a blueprint for who I was becoming
As we grew up I saw you change
A sickness ate away at you 'til just a shell and the sickness remained
And I don't know you anymore
All I have is your memory and all the music you played me, so
I drive around and listen to the tape you gave me
And remember who you used to be
You're gone forever so I spend time with a memory
Just your ghost and the music and me
When I was finding who I am you helped to point me
To a future you're not here to see
I try to picture us the way I thought we would be
Just your ghost and the music and me
I went to get groceries and thought about you
A song from our childhood came on and
I had to hold myself back from crying
"How does it feel to treat me like you do"
I hate how your absence has taken all
Our favorite songs and twisted their meaning
As I grow up I see the truth
You always had two sides to you but I only saw one in my youth
And I'm not angry anymore
I'm happy for the time we had and all the music you played me, so
I drive around and listen to the tape you gave me
And remember who you used to be
You're gone forever so I spend time with a memory
Just your ghost and the music and me
When I was finding who I am you helped to point me
To a future you're not here to see
I try to picture us the way I thought we would be
Just your ghost and the music and me
I wish you were you still
I wish I could see you again
I wish I could help you
I wish I could ease all your pain
I wish you could change