My first memory, my birthday on a party bus
Pops wasn't there but that wasn't obvious
In Mom's arms, in God we trust
Black Mama love, everything marvelous
I didn't know what I was missin', part of a system
Pops is gone, Uncle in prison
Inside wishin' for men to teach me 'bout girls and religion
Made my own rendition of grindin' and kissin'
Weekend calls to my Dad I'd listen
Still I felt distant, distant like love
There's only so far that words could really hug
Didn't wanna be a thug, older niggas I banged with
I learned a lot from them cuts in the basement
The smell of blunts laced with a little bit of spice
Wise, high niggas, giving me advice
We go out and start fights, scuff up our Nikes
Come back to talk crap and shoot a little dice
This is a slice of life and memories
Sittin' in my mind vividly, often they visit me (Oh, baby)
Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da (Oh, oh)
I'm just tryna find a way to understand (I'm tryna understand)
Oh, oh (Oh, oh)
How do I rewind the tape and live in it?
(Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh-oh, oh-oh)
Stayin' out late and playin' in Wonderland (Ooh-ooh, oh-oh-oh)
Is it in God's plan?
I'm just tryna find my way to understand it
Metaphors can't explain how far I came
A young man at work, I made my own lane
Steered away from pain, relied on drive
There's a old saying, don't cry, survive
As I kept building there were cranes in the sky
Certain memories my brain would deny
A tear laid in my eye, I was afraid to reply
To the hurt that was callin', it came from the sky
An older play cousin, of course I trust him
But he was touchin' where he wasn't supposed to be touchin'
What's a kid supposed to do?
When they goin' through, what I was goin' through
Don't know who to go to
You want to tell somebody
In many ways, I failed somebody
That somebody was me
Now I'm talking to little Rasheed
Incarcerated heart, man, you gotta be free
I felt it, when I told my man I would help with
Things he was dealin' with I really hadn't dealt with
Emotions meltin', I began to release it
Things you can't change, you could come to peace with
At least get it better for the children of forever
I read the Lord's letter, I forgive our debtors
They don't talk about it, maybe sharing their story
Memories of home, shared pain and glory (Oh baby)
Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da (Oh, oh)
I'm just tryna find a way to understand (I'm tryna understand)
Oh, oh (Oh, oh)
How do I rewind the tape and live in it?
(Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh-oh, oh-oh)
Stayin' out late and playin' in Wonderland (Ooh-ooh, oh-oh-oh)
Is it God's plan?
I'm just tryna find my way to understand it
Said I'm tryna understand, understand, understand, understand
Ayy-hey, oh-oh, oh