There are two oceans on either side of me, yes I touched them both, yes I kept moving 'cause Home where, home how Home here, home now I watched the trees change color And the hair on me get thicker And I knew, I knew nothing I woke up in the emergency room Not knowing where I was, I tried to laugh it off I closed my eyes, put on a disguise Said I love you to all that I met who didn't just take off my clothes What does it mean to transform in the middle of a sentence To say no after yes, to say yes after no It was there in the snow I fell in love again and once I said it, I could not stop Nor did I want to My conscience said to put it away and forget that it happened Because you can't keep it all so close Yes, it was terrifying An ocean on each side I'm in the middle failing you and myself again and again So, enough of this language in the book What I mean is that I miss you What I mean is I will never not