Ladies and gentlemen Creatures of the night Terrestrials that are extra, lend me your ears Would you like to be shocked and amazed? Would you like to see a single sheet of paper called money Control an evolutionary masterpiece That was billions of years in the making called a human? Not shocked yet? Would you like to hear a race of beings That actually think Earth belongs to them? That's right, I kid you not! Step right in and see how they believe the planet belongs to them! But as we all know We belong to the planet But not here, not here That's right, come step right in and have a float Through our peculiar, yet fantastical Gallery of Thrills We're all dying Gallery of Thrills We're all dying Yes I know You may have traveled The far corners of the universe In search of intelligent life But I'm here to tell you You won't find that here No, no You must keep a move on my friend Come stop on in If you would like to feel A thrill Down your spine We have men who truly believe they are superior to women We have people who kill animals with military-grade weapons That call themselves hunters and deem it a sport! Ha, that's right Right here I kid you not, it is one bizarre gallery we have here, I assure you Boy we got it all here I wish I could say that these Were fake creations coming from my carnie mouth But sadly this is all real Right now this is just the tip of the iceberg Why don't you come swing on by Swing on by and see for yourself, the Gallery of Thrills Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish you Martians would just beam me up I would feel more safe in the unknown than what is known here I want to believe