Hoping that you don't think less of me now
Ever since I decided to grow
Look I know you could shine with the love of your life
But my focus ain't there and it shows
Don't think the drugs taking over
It's water and prepping to sell out them shows
Yeah those dreams are more real than you ever imagined
I'm in a constant state of go
So that means every second matters now
I can't share if you don't believe
And if that wavers any moment, it's better to let you leave
I'm always locked into a battle that's losing ground with my mind
And how to allocate my life when I've never had enough time
Pull out in a big Benz
Been the talk of the town, don't know where it began
Everywhere I go, the world is my friend
And they want to play house, but this isn't pretend
Never been shook at the thought that one day
I lay down for the night and I wake up on clouds
I'm actually terrified thinking that day's coming up
In that case it should happen right now
I focus solely on things that are out my control
But some days feel I'm here for the ride
Convinced myself that it's only my cowardice
Aiding in pushing that shit to the side
Lately, I've tried to express how I feel
To the people I trust and they say they relate
But with our own motives in life
What's the point if I know we arrive at meeting the same fate
Finding myself closing off from the world
When I feel that it's safer to keep it inside
I'm coming closer to going insane
When the shell starts to break and there's nothing to hide
Losing it
I think I'm really losing it
In the mirror like who is this
Want the voices to stop, will he hear my wish
I'm screaming out, but I don't hear anything making a sound
Want a way out, under the water with weight til I drown
Losing it
I think I'm really losing it
In the mirror like who is this
Want the voices to stop, will he hear my wish
I'm screaming out, but I don't hear anything making a sound
Want a way out, under the water with weight til I drown
Hands to the temple and palms are too sweaty
It feels like I'm still running laps
Heart won't slow down, it's a struggle to breathe
Any moment my lungs could collapse
Closing my eyes
Trying to focus on keeping that feather afloat when I gasp
And what if it ends when I'm blind to it all
Why can't I keep my mind on its task
So I get up and I wander outside
Trying to find someone near that could help
Fuck the shell and the worry
Cause now I'm too paranoid knowing I can't save myself
Then I fall and as soon as my face meets the gravel
I flinch and I'm back in my room
I'm too shook to relax
Knowing now what might happen if I were to fall in the gloom
Losing it
I think I'm really losing it
In the mirror like who is this
Want the voices to stop, will he hear my wish
I'm screaming out, but I don't hear anything making a sound
Want a way out, under the water with weight til I drown
Losing it
I think I'm really losing it
In the mirror like who is this
Want the voices to stop, will he hear my wish
I'm screaming out, but I don't hear anything making a sound
Want a way out, under the water with weight til I drown