When the lights come on I'll have been awake for hours
A thin film of sweat on my skin
Partial lists of pink dawn reflections clogging my mind
But no progress and another dead kid in my feed
More words screamed about Life After Money
But it's fuzzy, still unclear how far a voice can really reach
I'm watching each contender surrender whatever
They say "I don't even care! I just want to feel better!"
You talk about your enemies, that doesn't really interest me
I'm grateful just to be considered
As possibly something more than just
A cloud of distressed emotions
A custodian of regular feelings
So much of the time I am speculation, snark and argument
But that "Dirty Boots" video from when I was a kid
I still remember trusting it
And I saw an unbroken world where everything was explained
And the people survived
Everyone was alive
And everyone kissed and every kiss was forgotten
Seconds after it happened
Everyone was swimming
Everyone was in love and nobody cared
In my dreams I get visits from every beautiful being who's ever
Left me
They kiss my face, they tell me they miss me, they love me
They want to protect me
I say "I miss you, too!! I'm trying to be something better for
You."
I'm trying to scratch through to the immaculate core
That gets hidden in the center of all these regular feelings
All those regular feelings
All those laundromat feelings
All those grocery store feelings
All those canker sore feelings
All those overdraft feelings
Second place feelings
You're just like anyone else feelings
All those regular feelings
All those internet feelings
All those angry dad feelings
All those White Castle feelings
All those left behind feelings
Those student loan feelings
Those D.U.I. feelings
The phones-about-to-die feelings
Unpopular feelings
Your UTI feelings
Those bus station feelings