I made a huge mistake, I've finally noticed
I saw your beauty and ignored that inside you is soulless
If I had a dime for every time the world said it loved me back
Then I would be homeless, I'm just tryna be noticed
'Cause every day I have to see eye to eye with opponents
I even thought about committing suicide for the moment
I want diamond and gold and a life of indulgence
So when it comes to what's inside I decided and sold it
I wanted proof that I wasn't just grinding and molded
As just a joke for the divine, designed to be hopeless
My mind isn't focused and this vibe is the culprit
See I got desperate 'cause my chance to survive was the lowest
These times are the coldest and I ignored all of my past advices
I went around doing lots of evil acts and vices
And I know everything in life requires sacrifices
And has a cost but I ain't ask its prices
See I just wanted some love, I just wanted some help
I just wanted some guidance, I just wanted some wealth
Wanted to find a remedy for the pain that I felt
See, no one believed in me so I don't believe in myself
My mother isn't employed, my brother isn't employed
Every day we're just crying, there's nothing killing the noise
And there's nothing filling the void, our love is getting destroyed
My mom is all in her feelings, my dad is feeling annoyed
A jab [at him?] in the groin, right side, left side
Right eye, it's gonna be the left eye next time
Afraid to run away and move on to the next guy
'Cause he says if we ever told him then the TEC fly
Can't even protect my family on the Westside
My mom thinks success lies solely on her breast size
That's why I go into my room and I just lie
Down and keep lying to myself saying it's just fine
Depressed times and there's no way to manage it
Ignoring that it's happening, won't aid the damages
Whole face in bandages, some days I wanna do the Cornelius
I don't feel like my soul's trained to handle this
Cocaine and cannabis running through my neighborhood
I used to go out and do everything the players would
I know it's wrong but who cares about the greater good
When not a single thing in your life is going the way it should
Is there salvation for a guy like me?
You ever look up to the sky and ask why like me?
Tonight might be the night that I say eff it and just run away
'Cause I don't see how I can make it through another day
I searched for help but couldn't find a single friend around me
Nobody there to take my hand or save me when I'm drowning
Or they'll act like they care but they'll forget about me
This is the stuff I cry about when I'm up at 1 AM in Cali