I have people who say they care for me And I'm so scared of the man I'm supposed to be I've got lovers who I haven't spoke to in months And my mother wants to meet for brunch I've so many friends that I've let down I'm anemic with a torn paper crown I've got brothers who I haven't spoke to in months And my father is calling me for lunch When he asks me if I'm doing okay And it's getting so much harder to say And I know that it isn't quite his fault That I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart I'm so sick of bleeding underneath my shirt And always wishing I could sleep forever in the dirt When I go into my bed I smell of smoke And the ash I breathe and the puke it makes me choke But the fishes ask if I'm okay And I lie to them and I don't know what to say Cause at the end of the day I'm drowning in my tears Just so they can breathe but I'll never fight the fears And you ask me if I'm doing okay And it's getting so much harder to say I've been sober for the past two three days But a month it just seems so far away But a month it just seems so far away