I got a brand new heart just the other day
From a man named Jim who sadly passed away
It's pink and it's pumpin' and it's been workin' like a charm
Tickin' like the watch on a train conductor's arm
Well it's nothin' like my old one that thing was a dud
One day outta the blue it just decided to give up
Well thank god I live in Canada cause they gave me one for free
Oh bless your little heart Jim cause now it's inside of me
Well I'm not very fussy never one to complain
But ever since the surgery I've been feelin' kinda strange
I started cravin' cigarettes and hard liquor as well
My doctor says it's normal but I think it's somethin' else
Cause I always hated baseball never watched a single game
Now I know every Blue Jay and all their middle names
And when I hear the name Sheila this damn thing skips a beat
I break out in a nervous sweat from my eyeballs to my feet
So I started gettin' curious what this was all about
I made some calls read some books and asked Google for some help
But I couldn't find an answer not even a God damned clue
Till I found what I was lookin' for on the 6 o'clock news
First thing I saw was a mugshot
Then the hair on my neck stood straight
A reporter said a man was dead
And his wife was locked away
Sheila killed her man with a frying pan
While he watched baseball on TV
The scene was grim his name was Jim
And his heart now beats in me