I just wanna be nice I just wanna have fun in school I wanna listen to my mom and tell her that's she's cool Respect of all my elders and keep my nose out of the Elmer's glue If I have any advice to last you your whole life It's always do your best to be nice Always keep your promises, learn your states and provinces Never show up late for a dinner Try not to be a prick, even if your dad's a dick And always tell your girl she's getting thinner If I have any advice to last you your whole life It's always do your best to be nice Oh but people are terrible; they're really, really awful You'll never know what they'll do to you So if you have to be an asshole (A dirty, dirty asshole) Then that's just what you're gonna have to do If I have any advice to last you your whole life It's always do your best to be nice