Up in the mountains way up high
There lived a boy who made a famous pie
His name was Mountain Boy
(Mountain Boy)
He feared no man, he feared no beast
And potted plants he feared the least
(Mountain Boy)
Down in the valley far below
Where no one else dared to go, lived Valley Lad
(Moutain Boy and Valley Lad)
Valley lad was sly and quick
He grew great fruit that was his trick
(Valley Lad and special fruit)
Mountain boy knew the fruit was the best in all the land
With such a prize he knew his pies could be twice as grand
In the night he stole a bite from the Valley Lad
He made a pie so very good, it made the heavens mad
So god and all of his angels came down from the sky
They came to judge the living, the dead, and the maker of this pie
"This pie you made from stolen fruit, too great for mortal man"
So God reached out and took the pie, with His immortal hand
So Mountain boy said to the god
"Please do not take this pie
For if you eat a single slice, man will surely die"
(Mountain Boy and the a-pie-calypse)
"I baked the hope and all the joy into a flaky crust
And from the fruit grew the world, and it was very just"
(Mountain Boy and the flaky crust)
God cared not for his pleas and he stole the fateful pie
And with whipped cream and strawberries he condemned man to die
"Mountain boy what have you done? You've surely doomed us all
The pie was meant for balance son and now it goes to God
I will not abandon you in your time of need
For as the stories have foretold, it's time to plant the seed"
So Mountain Boy and Valley Lad they hashed a cunning plan
To take back the cosmic pie and turn God into man
From the seed grew a tree a thousand miles high
Stretching through the mortal world and into heaven's sky
Another pie baked Mountain Boy and in his flaky crust
He channeled man's malice, his greed, and his lust
With the pie secured they scrambled over root, branch, and bark
To reach heaven's table before dessert could start
Through the mist they moved and across the clouds, they crept
Sneaking every quietly to the place where food was kept
(Mountain Boy and the refrigerator)
With great skill and alacrity, they switched the flaky pastries
And to the tree, they fled with their final prize
As night turned to day, they finally got away
And across the roof, they fled Heaven's prying eyes
Without a thought, he ate the pie, and it resigned him to his fate
A thousand miles down he fell at a fairly lethal rate
God's time was done, the jig was up, he knew it in his human heart
So he closed his eyes and held his breath to let the gravity tear him apart