It seems
I said yes when I should have said no.
History was repeating himself. This habit I forgot I had.
But this habit had not forgotten
It had me. I gave it life... my life.
So now it returned for another ride on this merry-go-round called
Life. For me a test.
Will I pass or will this ferris-wheel toss me to the ground again.
"But this situation could improve..."
"It could get better..."
"Maybe things will change..."
"Maybe it's me..."
"Should I really pass up this opportunity..."
The list of rationalizations grows long and weighs me down
Ok
Wait and see...
If you feel you must
But don't wait too long
Remember your past...
Your past is waiting
To be repeated
There is nothing for your past to do in the past but sit at that
Station, feet dangling off that bench, bored,
Waiting for your train to arrive so
That leg of your journey can be repeated
Again and again and again
Until you learn the lesson
Your soul came here to learn
Let the past go...
Fact is
I was trying to please
Guilted into compliance
"You have so much, give a little..."
"Remember all I have done for you..."
That and a bit of flattery too
That's how I fell...
But anger never steers you wrong. Anger is that great indicator.
That flashing red light lovingly warns of danger ahead.
Anger is that tree you crash into when you veer off the highway of
Your soul, drunk off of the liquor someone else gave you
Because you stayed too long in bars. Beware anger whispers...
We often misread anger... lash out when we should look in.
So I shine a flashlight on this darkness engulfing me,
And realize I have made a mistake.
I've boarded this luxury cruise-ship with 'friends' when
I really wanted to explore that little creek in a canoe.