Vodka, gin, Bacardi
And a half a bag of wine
Something out of date I've never tasted in my life
So Santa let yourself in, we'll be on the kitchen floor
We won't remember Christmas that's for sure
Mum, dad, aunt and uncle
N' some guy I've never met
Are singing songs I've never heard
From a worn out tape casette
And we'll know we woke the neighbours, when we hear 'em at the door
We won't remember Christmas that's for sure
My uncle thinks he's Jimmy Carr
And laughs at his own jokes
My cousin bought his stash along
And mum just took a toke
Now Grandad's dropping f-bombs, he thinks he's still at war
We won't remember Christmas that's for sure
Grandma got the munchies, so she went for a kebab
My brother puked his guts up, so we had to call him a cab
I bet that next December, our heads'll still be sore
We won't remember Christmas that's for sure
Dad promised he'd make breakfast, but woke up after one
I've smiled so much at presents that my face is going numb
We said we'd watch the Queen's speech but shrek's on channel 4
We won't remember Christmas that's for sure
The carollers are singing, they're obviously trying their best
But our hangover's are stinging so we tell 'em to give it a rest
N' just like last December, and the one we had before
We won't remember Christmas that's for sure
Vodka, gin, bacardi
And a half a bag of wine
We're trade the Christmas trimmings, for a party anytime
N' we don't want nothin' fancy, just a shoulder for support
We won't remember Christmas that's for sure
So Santa let yourself in, we'll be on the kitchen floor
We won't remember Christmas that's for sure