I feel you so close to me.
I feel you right next door to me.
I hear you approaching my steps
Walking closely knocking upon this entrance for me clearly
You're caressing this doorknob asking open up your door please.
I hear you on the other side of this
Pillar framing the outline to my haven of safety.
I hear you breathing on the other side of this wall
Whispering Please let me in and I wish that I could let him.
But there are walls that stand between him.
The mere fact that there is a door to knock on proves that I've
Already locked him out with walls made of
Planks of doubt fear that I'm not worthy.
God I know you say you want to come in but have you really seen me.
My insides are dirty.
My heart is sickly.
My house is filthy still.
I can hear him knocking and he's knocking
On these walls made up of sinful structures.
There have been deeds by other men that have
Hurt me first and convinced me that a life of sin.
A life of sadness a life of insecurity was all that I deserved.
So I've lived my life trying to live
Up to all these lies that I've heard.
Putting up walls to block out God so I can sit here in
My sin trying to figure out how to self heal my hurts.
But still I can hear him knocking and he's
Knocking on these walls made up of guilt and shame.
I know I am to blame for how my life has turned out.
I am not the little girl my parents
Raised to be holy and wholesome and set apart.
And I don't want God to see me this way.
I don't want him to see me as I'm
Straddling the lines of purity with my boyfriend.
I don't want him to see me as I'm hungover
From the alcohol I've used to quench my depression.
I don't want him to see me as I'm hooking up
With strangers just because I can't be patient.
I don't want him to see me.
I'm starving myself trying to look like the world idea of perfection.
But still I can hear him knocking but I stay locked in putting up
As many walls as I can to protect myself from getting hurt again.
Allowing heartbreak to come in again to
Hide myself away so that God can't see who.
I really.
And I know.
I'm in a box.
I know these walls are being closed
But really I'm getting used to this roof.
And really this place has become home
Within these walls within these sins.
I am comfortable.
But this home is a prison.
These walls are more like bars holding in a free man who's chosen to
Be captive by choosing the sin that slowly seeps into our heads
Our hearts are hands and with them we've built this separation.
I've built this separation between God and me.
But still I can hear him knocking it I'm
Starting to wonder what it would be like to be set free.
I'm getting claustrophobic with all this condemnation cluttering me.
I'm getting asthmatic.
With all of this in that suffocating me and my ears are almost
Growing deaf with how loud I can hear God knocking for me screaming
Toward me I hear him shouting You
Don't have to put up walls for safety.
I'm your protection.
I am your satisfaction your joy.
Your wholeness there is healing there's
Forgiveness there is redemption there is restoration there.
Is salvation from your sinfulness.
Open up these walls you've used to hide from me.
Open up the door.
For.
And.
I don't know.
If your walls or if your prisons look anything
Like me but no matter why you might be hiding.
If you listen carefully you two can still hear him.
Knocking knocking knocking.
I feel you so close to me.
I feel you right next door to me.
I hear you approaching my steps.
Walking closely knocking upon this entrance for me clearly
You're caressing this doorknob asking open up your door please.
I hear you on the other side of this
Pillar framing the outline to my haven of safety.
I hear you breathing on the other side of this wall
Whispering Please let me in and I wish that I could let him.
But there are walls that stand between him.
The mere fact that there is a door to knock on proves that I've
Already locked him out with walls made of
Planks of doubt fear that I'm not worthy.
God I know you say you want to come in but have you really seen me.
My insides are dirty.
My heart is sickly.
My house is filthy still.
I can hear him knocking and he's knocking
On these walls made up of sinful structures.
There have been deeds by other men that have
Hurt me first and convinced me that a life of sin.
A life of sadness a life of insecurity was all that I deserved.
So I've lived my life trying to live
Up to all these lies that I've heard.
Putting up walls to block out God so I can sit here in
My sin trying to figure out how to self heal my hurts.
But still I can hear him knocking and he's
Knocking on these walls made up of guilt and shame.
I know I am to blame for how my life has turned out.
I am not the little girl my parents
Raised to be holy and wholesome and set apart.
And I don't want God to see me this way.
I don't want him to see me as I'm
Straddling the lines of purity with my boyfriend.
I don't want him to see me as I'm hungover
From the alcohol I've used to quench my depression.
I don't want him to see me as I'm hooking up
With strangers just because I can't be patient.
I don't want him to see me.
I'm starving myself trying to look like the world idea of perfection.
But still I can hear him knocking but I stay locked in putting up
As many walls as I can to protect myself from getting hurt again.
Allowing heartbreak to come in again to
Hide myself away so that God can't see who.
I really.
And I know.
I'm in a box.
I know these walls are being closed
But really I'm getting used to this roof.
And really this place has become home
Within these walls within these sins.
I am comfortable.
But this home is a prison.
These walls are more like bars holding in a free man who's chosen to
Be captive by choosing the sin that slowly seeps into our heads
Our hearts are hands and with them we've built this separation.
I've built this separation between God and me.
But still I can hear him knocking it I'm
Starting to wonder what it would be like to be set free.
I'm getting claustrophobic with all this condemnation cluttering me.
I'm getting asthmatic.
With all of this in that suffocating me and my ears are almost
Growing deaf with how loud I can hear God knocking for me screaming
Toward me I hear him shouting You
Don't have to put up walls for safety.
I'm your protection.
I am your satisfaction your joy.
Your wholeness there is healing there's
Forgiveness there is redemption there is restoration there.
Is salvation from your sinfulness.
Open up these walls you've used to hide from me.
Open up the door.
For.
And.
I don't know.
If your walls or if your prisons look anything
Like me but no matter why you might be hiding.
If you listen carefully you two can still hear him.
Knocking knocking knocking.