I'm just a plumber,
Bummin' in the shadow of my brother
Clean your house of cobwebs,
Any present I can plunder
I'm a little nervous,
Afraid of dark rooms and dark moons
Suck up spirits with my vacuum,
My mustache gets mad poon
I'm the guy in green,
I can jump higher than the others,
Not a hater, I'm good natured,
Not easily angered like my brother,
Who has strangely gone missing
For what seems like the second time
I was eating cookies and milk,
Now I'm fucking filthy with slime
Professor Elva needs my helping
In the valley evershade
I collect in a clever way,
Because I'm never paid,
Professor prefers the paranormal
Always seeking out the truth,
I quiver lots and his liver spots
Tingle at his single tooth
He hooks me up with hunting gear,
Repurposed household items
A vacuum and a flashlight,
Doesn't change the fact I'm frightened
My brother's chasing girls
In sunny worlds, he's dedicated,
Never prepared for sliding stairs,
Always scared and pixelated
A manor and a mansion,
A tower and a mine,
A clock with mummies underneath,
A fleet of freaks to find
Ghosts that once had eyes
Are no longer pacified
I have to try, that's my life
But it's the kind that's asinine
I'm just a plumber,
Bummin' in the shadow of my brother
Clean your house of cobwebs,
Any present I can plunder
I'm a little nervous,
Afraid of dark rooms and dark moons
Suck up spirits with my vacuum,
My mustache gets mad poon
Spooky as fuck mansions,
Gloomy Tut tombs,
Make a mustache man
Sadly miss mushrooms
Once pursued on a cube
By a room full of Boos
Now I'm held in your hands
Like a damn vacuum
Back to the lab
Where I get graded on ghosts,
They're put in a vault-
It's my fault, I suppose
Then back to the map,
It's macabre and malignant,
Rob me of my dignity
These imps are indignant
So many pesky poltergeists,
Pugnacious and persistent
Afraid of spiders, plants and mice
Not toads they're my assistants
This creepy crib is lucrative
I suck up cash and hearts,
Still stead losin', getting bruised
Wish I was cruising in my kart
I'm just a plumber,
Bummin' in the shadow of my brother
Clean your house of cobwebs,
Any present I can plunder
I'm a little nervous,
Afraid of dark rooms and dark moons
Suck up spirits with my vacuum,
My mustache gets mad poon
Didn't ask for the secret passage,
I fear forbidden zones,
Polterpups instead of 1-Ups
If I find the hidden bones
Wish I could 'Ciao' but for now
I'm wanted in a haunted house,
I'd rather be a racoon,
Or a cat that says, "Meow!"
No teammates 'cept my boss,
Who's a little off his rocker
I'm all alone inside his home
Except for several stalkers
They hide in suits of armor,
They rest in chests and drawers,
Their abetting's got me sweating
It's upsetting to my pores
An explorer's expansive mansion
Is where the tension builds
His exhibits make me livid
Rather hide than ride these thrills
Been in jungles, been in deserts,
I've seen Mammoths on the ice
Seens sights out of sight
'Till I used my dark light device
The crew has got a king,
He's the type that likes lightning strikes
Put my brother in a painting,
No more fainting, time to fight
This boss battle has me rattled,
I'm determined to succeed,
I'm through with this abuse,
Now I choose to take the lead
I'm just a plumber,
Bummin' in the shadow of my brother
Clean your house of cobwebs,
Any present I can plunder
I'm a little nervous,
Afraid of dark rooms and dark moons
Suck up spirits with my vacuum,
My mustache gets mad poon