Here's the kicker name is Glicker, son of Selma and Mel
My persnickety parents are my own version of hell
They're always grouchy cause I'm slouching you know I'm covered in dirt
I know they only love me but sometimes love really hurts
I didn't wanna go to camp it was disgusting and damp
But my heart started soaring saw this Victorian vamp
They were not like the others, her and her brother
Her dour demeanor defeated me I immediately loved her
I wouldn't build a birdhouse, I wouldn't ride a horse
Allergic to archery terrified of tennis courts
Wasn't interested in crafts unless we're talkin' 'bout witches
Fuck Amanda Buckman and her brood of blonde bitches
They insisted that I visit a hut for reading Hawking
I tried to act nonchalant, her hotness got me gawking
I worshiped and adored her, I would be her devoted slave
I would let her have her way until she put me in my grave
She's so extra cute, her face electrocutes
Aim a crossbow at your throat and that's the end of you
Not prone to teenage tantrums, she's not a dream or phantom
Her name is Wednesday Addams, this is my Wednesday Anthem
Say Wednesday's child is one that's full of woe
Her feet are sweet but did you know that one has six toes
She's the unholy maggot that's always feasting on my soul
Total fabric softener and she's completely lost control
She's pale, got pigtails and two eyes so wide
Homicide's on her mind all the time and that's fine
Dressed like someone died but I think that's just her style
She acts like she don't like me but I think that's just denial
Now I'm no longer languid, my life lost in daydream
She hated everybody before it went mainstream
Got a serious collection of serial killer trading cards
But I'd trade my whole collection for a connection with her heart
Got a message in my mail "Meet at the skeleton after dark"
Got invited to a wedding, it's not a date but it's a start
I wonder if she cares, will we kiss before we part?
Underestimated her enemy let's be sweet beneath the stars
She's so extra cute, her face electrocutes
Aim a crossbow at your throat and that's the end of you
Not prone to teenage tantrums, she's not a dream or phantom
Her name is Wednesday Addams, this is my Wednesday Anthem
Others glare and get a sense of ominous dread
I think she's cute I want to cuddle in her octopus bed
Other campers think they're cunning but she leaves them running scared
She'll always be my Pocahontas and I'll be her Running Bear
These teens seem prim and proper but they're rotten and they're mean
But she's Gomez Addams' daughter they ought to get in her guillotine
These privileged young adults are faults of some that cannot seed
They fail to see her greatness, their lameness is what's obscene
She says she doesn't hug, her and her brother are contagious
But I somehow fell in love with this poison sipping Pagan
Must be waxin' witchcraft I'm compelled by Cupid's Curse
She's frightful and delightful my heart's rightfully hers
Burnt their village to the ground, this sodom was a sad one
Parted ways, and seventh grade would split us like an atom
Her hero's a witch burned in 1706
My hero's the girl I love a little witch on which I'm fixed
She's so extra cute, her face electrocutes
Aim a crossbow at your throat and that's the end of you
Not prone to teenage tantrums, she's not a dream or phantom
Her name is Wednesday Addams, this is my Wednesday Anthem