I have a friendly dog who likes to run around
You may have seen us on our daily walk
We frequent the river and the parks around the town
When I see someone I know she'll always let me stop and talk
She gets a little anxious when she sees another dog
But with people, she's always been relaxed
But she's not very discerning when it comes to choosing friends
And there seems to be a certain type of person she attracts
All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog
And I'm far far too polite to walk away
They ask me lots of questions and offer their affections
And I feel obliged to uncomfortably stay
Their behavior may be crude but to ignore them would be rude
And my mother didn't bring me up that way
All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog
And I'm far, far too polite to walk away
♪
She's utterly oblivious to my concerns of their intent
She runs to greet them with a wagging tail
I desperately search around for an easy exit point
But the incoherent small talk starts before I have the chance to bail
My senses always tell me that I'm going to be mugged
So I reach to get my wallet and my phone
I flinch as they utter unintelligible words
And then sigh with relief when I detect a friendly tone
All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog
And I'm far, far too polite to walk away
I end up in a fug of fags and stale cider breath
And I try to hide my obvious dismay
She seems to be a breed that has a certain appeal
To types whose diet consists of bark and boos for every meal
All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog
And I'm far, far too polite to walk away
♪
I do my best to avoid certain areas of the park
Where the druggies and the rough teenagers dwell
I rarely venture out with her when it has gotten dark
Lest we catch the attention of some drunk may be well
I try to keep away when there are people hanging round
The benches and the sitting walls and swings on the playground
Then suddenly as if out of nowhere they appear
Staggering hands out slurring, "Baah! Who've we got here?
All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog
And I'm far, far too polite to walk away
They greet me with a wink and they offer me a drink
And I say thanks but it's too early in the day
Though they catch me unprepared, I've long stopped being scared
I just find it hard to work out what to say
All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog
And I'm far, far too polite to walk away
All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog
And I'm far, far too polite to walk away
Accessorised with diamond white and cans of special brew
It's really very sweet in its own peculiar way
Though they may cause some alarm, they don't mean any harm
They only want to come and have a play
All the local whiners want to make friends with my dog
And I'm far, far too polite to walk away