A telephone book printed in Chinese Food for a dog that decided to leave Shoes for a wife I never quite wed The ringing of words I shouldn't have said These are things, things in my room These are things I can do without These are things, things in my room These are things I was wrong about In the best world In the best of all possible worlds I'm making a list Of things that wouldn't be missed, uh-huh The envy I feel for this years winners The scales on my eyes, the splints on my fingers Fears that I can't seem to put to bed Of scary monsters somewhere up ahead These are things, things in my life These are things I can do without These are things, things in my life These are things I was wrong about In the best world In the best of all possible worlds I'm making a list Of things that wouldn't be missed, uh-huh In the best world In the best of all possible worlds I'm writing down some things I've found That I don't want to have around me But the bigger they get, the more help I'll need There are things, things in this world There are things we can do without There are things, things in this world There are things we were wrong about In the best world In the best of all possible worlds I'm making a list Of things that wouldn't be missed, uh-huh In the best world In the best of all possible worlds I'm making a list Of things that wouldn't be missed, uh-huh In the best world In the best of all possible worlds In the best world In the best of all possible worlds, in the best world