Ah, this is the tale of the dame known as Harriet Who climbed to the top of the heap from the bottom A beautiful life was her aim and to vary it She wanted the sun and the moon and she got 'em She isn't the least exhausted from her climb But she does look back from time to time And the subject of this evening's quiz Is who she was and who she is Uptown She's stepping out with the swell Downtown She's holding hands on the El Hyphenated Harriet The nouveau from New Rochelle Uptown She's got the Vanderbilt clan Downtown She's with the sidewalk Cezanne Hyphenated Harriet The nouveau from New Rochelle She sits at the Ritz with her splits of Mumms and starts to pine for a stine with her Village chums But with the schlitz in her mitts down at Fitzroy's Bar She thinks of the Ritz so it's so schizo Uptown It's Harry Winston she needs Downtown Strictly zircons and beads Ask her Should she be uptown or down? She two of the most miserable girls in town