You lovers of mirth, I pray pay attention
And listen to what I am going to relate,
Concerning a couple I overheard talking
As I was returning late home from a wake.
As I roved around I met an old woman
Who sat by a gap a-milking her cow.
She was jigging a tune called 'Come haste to the wedding'
Or some other ditty I can't tell you now,
On in looking around I spied a bold tinker
Who only by chance came a strolling the same way.
The weather being fine sure he sat down beside her,
"What news, honest man?" the old woman did say.
"Ah, it's no news at all, ma'am," replied the bold tinker,
"But the people will wish that he never had been,
It's that damnable rogue of a Daniel O'Connell,
He's now making children in Dublin by steam."
"Ara, children, aroo," then replied the old woman.
"Ara hainm an diabhal!, is he crazy at last?
Is there sign of a war or a sudden rebellion
Or what is the reason he wants them so fast?"
"It's not that at all, ma'am," replied the bold tinker,
"But the children of Ireland are getting so small,
It's O'Connell's petition to the new Lord High Lieutenant
To not let us make them the auld way at all."
"By this pipe in my mouth," then replied the old woman,
"And that's a great oath of my soul, for to say,
Ah! I'm only a woman but if I was near him,
I bet you me life it's little he'd say.
For the people of Ireland, it's very well known,
They gave him their earnings, though needing it bad,
And now he is well recompensing them for it;
By taking what little diversion they had!"
"Long life to your courage", replied the bold tinker
"And long may you live and have youth on your side",
"And if all the young girls in Ireland was like you,
O'Connell could throw his steam engine one side!"
"I think every girl that is in this old country
Should begin making children as fast as they can
So if ever Her Majesty asks for an army
We'll be able to send her as many as Dan"