Eidetically remembering every bad thing done to me Every single day the same routine subduing the screaming noise In my head waiting to rest It's just that sometimes I sit and wonder if things Will ever get better than this I now see the person I've become It's hard to live with hating who you are All those friends who left and gave up on me Couldn't you see? I needed you Now that this past year is almost done I feel so tired and worn but I carry on and on The world turns I know I'm not that important In the grand scheme of things It's so hard to exist when even your own thoughts Stack up against you The nightmares are my reality and constantly Bombarding who I am All those word left unsaid Are now my regrets Discarded harmonies Tearin up my voice Looking at myself in the mirror I curse who I am I dread becoming someone with the cold dead eyes Of a person that's checked out Shuffling through the streets bewildered and alone Floating to oblivion