I've spent Christmas in Los Angeles
Christmas east of West LA
Christmas in Kyoto and the Bay
And I always thought it couldn't matter less
But lately, come December
I confess
I want the tree full of toys and tinsel
I want the wreath on the red front door
I want the elves in the yard
Each sentimental card drippin' glitter on the floor
I want a room full of plywood reindeer
I want a road full of horse-drawn sleighs
All those Christmas clichés
I want the goose with all the gravy
The goose that dad only ever made
I want the gulp and the tear the moment that I hear
Andy Williams bein' played
I want a lake full of perfect skaters
I want the fruitcake with sugar glaze
All those Christmas clichés
Not to mention the snow
Not to mention the choirs (Fa-la-la-la)
Not to mention the candles in the window (Window)
And chestnuts roasting on the fire (Ba-da-ba)
Inside a house full of noise and laughter
All on a street bathed in twinklin' light
I want the bells and the drums
Mistletoe and sugarplums
And the kids to tuck in tight
As for the songs you hear over and over
I hope you look this one up when it plays
All those Christmas clichés
Just give 'em to me!
Just in time for a holiday
Hit me with those out of the ballpark
Happy and hallmark
Christmas clichés!