It's a feeling I get when I lie here alone
I'm not really afraid but it's still something close
Inside my head I struggle with my thoughts on the meaning of death
This pressure that I feel is weighing me down.
I don't wanna believe that all this time
I've spent living will be forgotten when I die
If history tells us anything
It's that people aren't worth remembering
They just seem to fit certain basic needs
Act as inspiration to go do greater things
And I'm stupid enough to still hold onto hope
To one day make a change with the words that I wrote
Can you see how I'm torn between truths I know
And what I wish could be if I were in control
I wanna believe but can not bring myself to suspend my disbelief
This burden is on me. I'm not sure there's anything
That could fix my thinking or at least ease the pain
I refuse to adapt or ever change my ways
I'm selfish
So selfish
I just want to be important
Why must I feel this way at all?
I don't think that anybody
Wants to be a nobody
Especially not me
Is this thinking healthy?
It's easy to forget how fragile my thoughts can be
I wanna believe that someday someone will find some importance in me