If you ain't noticed
I been ghosting for the last 10 months
Reached the end of my rope
Had to hang things up
Hope ya family's been blessed
But look now I'm back with a message
I'm tired of stressing
Lemme get this off my chest
So we can finally put these skeletons to rest
I was peddling a mess
Never had to many friends
Now I got none
Should prolly pop one
Cause I'd rather drink till my hearts numb
Instead of addressing all of the reasons I depart so suddenly
And I'm sorry
But there were warnings
Wrote to em how I felt
They ignored it
So controlling
So demanding
Wasn't taking no action
Placing blame on my back
Erase the face of it fast
Leave Hoshea in the past
Embracing the way I am
Control the ways I react
Cause if I didn't
Well I dipped
So it's clearly a change of plans
I was lost at sea
But now I've made my way to land
Man
I was really just a bitch
My beliefs
Were really swimming with the fish
I was pissed
But couldn't talk about it
Never finish
Any shit I start somehow
Understanding why they walked out
Never fought for all the shit I talked 'bout
I was faking
Being something I wasn't
My family seen it, homies seen it
Now I wonder
If it's all part of the plan above
Or if I'm really on a streak of fucking up
The black sheep of the bunch
I developed some bad habits
Their tastes were mediocre
I've got an advanced pallet
Quit being condescending when ya talk to me
This ain't confrontational yo
It's an apology
I had your back dawg
Like siblings do
Im speaking to the old, new, and siblings too
It's a new beginning
Wish I coulda seen things through
Now it's just me
Just Josh
In this room
In reality
I've always been a lone wolf
That's why I make these beats and put my therapy in notebooks
No limits now
The lease has reached its finish
Ain't a need to be specific
If ya need to then you'll listen
I been dealing with depression
Ever since my adolescence
Was really close to the edge for a second
I brought it back
In case you can't decipher what's the message huh
Im not the artist ya thought of me
And never was