We haven't caught Osama.
We spoke a bit too rashly.
He just released a video
With Mary-Kate and Ashley.
He's there in all the tabloids.
He's on a box of wheaties.
But in this war on terror we have caught a few HVTs
(Thats, "high-value targets")
We're cracking down on cancer-stricken stoners.
And insidious independent bookstore owners.
Not to mention dangerous incloners
And communists and anarchists and democratic donors.
But...
There's an enemy living among us...
I think you know who I mean.
Nobody really knows a thing about them.
(Not even Martin Sheen.)
They're a a threat to our standard of living.
And the cheap supply of oil.
I say let's rout their sorry asses out before they soil our american soil.
Ohhhhh...
Let's go after the Buddhists!
Let's knock some shaven heads!
Those humanistic, nonmaterialistic, pacifistic slugabeds.
They're egoless and nonviolent...
Unamerican and weird.
They just sit and stare at the wall and their god doesn't even have a beard!
Ohhhhh...
I don't wanna say too much about them,
They could be listening right now...
Meet me later in the parking lot.
I've got the yellow El Camino with the bumber sticker saying:
"Isolationism. Ask me how."
It's a nation of freedom and tolerance.
And that's just plain dangerous.
Let's wipe out terrorism every where.
(Except, of course, where the terrorists are us.)
Ohhhhh...
Let's go after the Buddhists!
Let's go rough up some monks!
Those semi-mystic, anti-dualistic, moraly-relatavistic punks!
Instead of contemplating their navals...
They can contemplate our naval might!
Hone your epiphets, grab a torch, and let's go find somebody to enlight... en.
Hey, dude! You look like you'd
Have a patri-idiotic attitude!
Let's kick some bood!
Ohhhhhmmm...