Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
Dave's got leeches, Mike's got flu
Everybody's got a parasite, I've got you
First date: we thought it was great
We drank and we ate, we stayed up real late
Next week we hit our peak
Making the bedsprings creak
And now, one month later
Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
Dave's got leeches, Mike's got flu
Everybody's got a parasite, I've got you
I guess that's what I get
For being a jerk instead of cooling my jets
You were a wolf in a sheep's skin
Playing for keeps and I lost
And now, twenty years later
Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
Dave's got leeches, Mike's got flu
Everybody's got a parasite, I've got you
I've got you, I've got you
Somebody tell me what to do
Should I try a bit of vinegar, has someone got an antidote?
Band-aids, cyanide, hydrogen peroxide
Rum and coke if nothing else will do
Everybody's got a parasite, I've got you
Tony's got a botfly in his forehead
Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe
Dave's got leeches, Mike's got flu
Everybody's got a parasite, I've got you