Wonder, oh why this ever had to be?
Uh-huh
So many losing hope in those dreams that they
Walking past the homeless in a Rolex
Just got off the stage on the Today Show and I basically felt soulless
Years go by and I keep saying I'm gon' use my phone less
But I should just be phone-less
Ignorance is bliss and so is being underground 'cause it was fun when we were known less
Sorry, that's cliché, I know I'm so blessed
But Jason keeps on telling me "Say yes" and truth be told, I know he knows best
But I don't wanna do no press
I've seen enough of me on this lil' screen
I've become so vain and insecure 'bout everything
I feel all this pressure to live up to what they tell me I'm gon' be
So I isolate myself, you can't help me it's on me
I'm hiding any sign of weakness from my guys
I don't want 'em second-guessing with me
Nemo said to keep my foot on necks 'cause I can't let 'em just forget me
But the brags in my raps are getting less and less convincing
So I'd rather just
Wonder, oh why this ever had to be?
So many losing hope in those dreams that they
I wrote that first verse in Denver back in September
It's January now and I'm feeling like myself again
I got Angel back in here, I need his help again
I'm taking time away but wondering what a healthy helping is
Fuck it, they gon' check for me, I tell myself and tell my friends
Avoiding any talks about the elephant
Chalking up the hate to jealousy and just embellishments
But deep down, I find myself wondering if the people that write about are right about me
And I wonder if my exes are oversharing 'cause they know a lot about me
I'm a long way from Shelby County
I been through some local tension, heard talks of a healthy bounty
Sober and focused, I cannot walk down no deli alleys
I still got the fellas 'round me, I love 'em and tell 'em proudly
My mama needs help adjusting, my father need help accounting
I'm looking out heaven's window
I know that there's hell around me and
Wonder, oh why this ever had to be?
So many losing hope in those dreams that they