This is the man that I plan to entangle Isn't he fine? My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle Vengeance was mine! But I'm out of the biz The name I made, I'll trade for his The only trouble is— I'll never tell She is the one, she's such wonderful fun Such passion and grace Warm in the night, when I'm right in her tight— Embrace! Tight embrace! I'll never let her go The love we've known can only grow There's just one thing that— No. I'll never tell 'Cause there's nothing to tell He snores She wheezes Say "housework," and he freezes She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe I talk; he breezes She doesn't know what "please" is His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe! The vibe gets kind of scary Like she thinks I'm ordinary Like it's all just temporary Like her toes are kind of hairy But it's all very well 'Cause, God knows, I'll never tell! When things get rough, he Just hides behind his Buffy! Now look, he's getting huffy 'Cause he knows that I know She clings, she's needy She's also really greedy She never— His eyes are beady! This is my verse, hello? She— Look at me! I'm dancing crazy! ♪ You know You're quite the charmer My knight in armor You're the cutest of the Scoobies With your lips as red as rubies And your firm, yet supple— tight embrace! ♪ He's swell She's sweller He'll always be my feller That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified I've read this tale There's wedding, then betrayal I know there'll come the day I'll want to run and hide I lied, I said it's easy I've tried, but there's these fears I can't quell Is she looking for a pot of gold? Will I look good when I've gotten old? Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful? When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley Am I crazy? Am I dreamin'? Am I marrying a demon? We could really raise the beam in making marriage a hell! So, thank God, I'll never tell! I swear, that I'll never tell My lips are sealed I take the Fifth Nothing to see Move it along I'll never Tell!