Heather says that each of us here Is allowed just one friend And one friend alone That's what best friends are for Heather says that any among us Who think that it's better To have three or four Better change your mind (That's what she says.) That's what she says Heather does bad things in class But she never, no never gets blamed And I wager already this week About fifteen more kids have been framed And of course, one would never Dare tell on dear Heather, dear Heather And Heather says not a soul in the whole of the fourth grade class Can jump near as high or run as fast I suspect someone could, but I can't deny Heather must win so we never even try The challenge appears on her lips with a grin And she gives us that look that says Heather must win And we, do what Heather says Heather makes fun of the kids with the mole And the extra large ears And she's not satisfied till he's screaming and red and in tears And of course, no one would ever Dare tell on dear Heather, Sweet Heather Heather must be first in Hopscotch And when we play tag she is it Soon things will change Cuz the kids especially Margaret are sick of it And even I myself think that it's cruel That everything Heather says goes at our school Everything Heather says goes at our school