I was the guy you once knew as a jerk
Who made records on the side, now I do it as work
So you BET that I take pride in throwin' you in the dirt
You would too, if you knew what it's worth
Uhh! I'm a businessman in the truest sense (Yeah)
Cause every time my song's too intense, and cause you offense
I record a few cents in my bank book (Uh-huh)
So I can afford a few gents starin' at me with blank looks (Oww!)
You don't like that I sang hooks, and think I ought to be spittin'
Like I don't carry on the tradition?
Well I don't give a care for your sorry opinion
I just came here to borrow your women; and now all of ya grinnin' (Hahahaha)
You only like when I'm bein' rude
Shame on you for bringin' out the fight in a decent dude
"But everybody likes to see a good beatin', Lou"
We'll see how much you like when the fight's between me and you (Oooh)
And I don't need to do physical harm (Okay)
My evil tunes got their own miserable charm (Uh-huh)
So when I spin a few yarns in your psyche (Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!)
If you aren't in tight jeans, you're likely to shart on your Nikes (Ya know...)
You won't find me in a trendy nightclub
I spend my nights buzzed at friendly dyke pubs (Ohh! Ohh!)
White suds and not a sign of Cristal
If you're an AA sponsor, you won't find me at all (Nope!)
You'll never catch me in a bracelet or necklace
That's worth more money than the place where I rest is (Hooo!)
I traded my desk in for rhymin' on tour
And now my grimey old boss can't find me at all (Oooooowwweeee!)
Yo, Yo... I'm one short tick, from some poor kid gettin' his heart broke
Feelin' like he's breathin' cigar smoke (Hahaha)
Cause cars don't make you cool (Uh-uhh)
Nor does success when you neglect to graduate from school (Nah)
I hate to fuel all you criminal guys' continued demise
But oops! Wait a minute, I lied (Oops!)
I love to see you squirm as I minimalize and trivialize
In rhymes I'm deliverin' live (Yeah!)
Cause I've got news for you, buckeroo (Uhh! Uhh!)
Whatever you suckas do tonight, tomorrow you'll still wake up as you (Yooou)
What to do when your toughness proves
To be a teenage phase you suffered through 'till you're twenty-two? (Awww!)
You're stuck with Lou, you can love me or loathe me (Uhh...)
I'm plannin' on stickin' around and becomin' and oldie (OG!)
They told me to get gone, I'm too damn headstrong (Yeah, c'mon!)
One hundred and ten songs later, what went wrong? (C'mon! Okay!)
You won't find me with a gun or a knife
Threatenin' somebody's life, sellin' drugs, or in fights (Hooo! Hooo!)
It just doesn't excite me to wind up in court
That's why the guys on the force can't find me at all (Nope!)
You'll never catch me on the pop charts
In the back of a cop car, next to a has-been rock star (Hooo! Hooo!)
I'm not part of the celebrity grind
I'm the truly genuine kind that you're desperate to find (Oooooowwweeee!)
Do the math, you can add up the factors
Lou's as bad as rappers actin' like actors
You all suck a set of sweaty old blue-balled nuts
I suggest you go back home and practice
Fact is, your wackness sticks with you
Whether you switch to new sports, or record a disc or two
Keanu, nobody listens to the rock you write
They never give it to athletes on Oscar night
You gotta like how they create new things
To make you think you're wrong for sayin' they DO stink
"Oh, you're a hater? Don't hate, congratulate!"
Alright, we'll celebrate when you make a track that's great, deal? (Duhh...)
Don't hold your breath unless you were admittin' (Right?)
That the smell is straight litter box used by a kitten (Eww!)
All of you fake actors, athletes, and loser musicians (Yeah! Yeah!)
Should get the pink slip and lose your positions (See ya!)
Oh, okay... hahahahaha.
J.J. Brown, Louis Logic
Yo, you do your thing man.
Yo Danny, somebody stop him, man
"Youuuu won't find me there
Youuuu won't find me... at all"