Last night down by the old town
I walked through Harbour Lane
When a monkey and this gorgeous blonde
Stepped up and called my name
We have something to show you
So good you can't deny
Authentic Scottish ghosties
Imported from Shanghai
I bought these scary monsters
The extra special kind
Invisible to simple folks
But not to masterminds
Though if you look and nothing's there
Relax and trust my eyes
You think it's just a door or chair
It's them in their disguise
Extra, extra, Scottish ghost for sale
Scottish ghost for sale, turn your parents pale
Extra, extra, Scottish ghost for sale
A perfect gift for you and all your friends
It seems I have a problem
I haven't sold a ghost
They laugh and say I'm crazy
Though I give them tea and toast
I called my cousin Lee Macdong
And sold the goods to him
A wizard millionaire from Flong
Whose eyes are rather dim
Extra, extra, Scottish ghost for sale
Scottish ghost for sale, turn your parents pale
Extra, extra, Scottish ghost for sale
A perfect gift for you and all your friends
Extra, extra, Scottish ghost for sale
Scottish ghost for sale, turn your parents pale
Extra, extra, Scottish ghost for sale
A perfect gift for you and all your friends
Extra, extra, Scottish ghost for sale
Scottish ghost for sale, turn your parents pale
Extra, extra, Scottish ghost for sale
A perfect gift for you and all your friends