Once I knew a coal-eyed man With a clean white coat and a blade in hand He said, "Son, don't worry, I've done this work before" And then he put on his mask and he gave me mine He held out his hand and he told me to count to five "1, 2, 3" and I awoke with a hook for a hand and a cold, dry throat It's the undertaker And he's going to take you He's a lady-killer You'd better pray he don't show your face around here You'd better pray, you'd better pray, you'd better pray Once I knew a doe-eyed dame With a pale-eyed face and a rich man's last name A pocket full of weak men's hearts, she insists she's not to blame With dirt on her hands and pearls on her neck She wiped her wrists on her blood-stained dress She's been digging graves for all the men she has yet to claim It's the undertaker And he's going to take you He's a lady-killer You'd better pray he don't show your face around here You'd better pray, you'd better pray, you'd better pray Welcome to the madhouse It's a real loony bin They're not going to let you go until you take your medication Try to swallow your horse pills whole And do your best not to vomit Or you're gonna wake up in the morgue with a rope on your toe And a price tag on it Undertaker And he's going to take you He's a lady-killer You'd better pray he don't show your face around here You'd better pray, you'd better pray, you'd better pray